Love Extravagantly

I woke up this morning and stumbled down the stairs and made my way toward the coffee pot.  I sat down on the couch, turned on Good Morning America and did my best to wake up.  I had no idea that God was going to speak to me.  It was early and I am not a morning person, so the fact that I was able to recognize it was God, was huge.

  So, I'm sipping on my coffee and a story comes on about a brother and sister who are twins.  The little girl was overweight and had some developmental issues.  She was getting bullied at school and her mom didn't realize the magnitude of the situation.  Her brother did though. Their mom asked them to  write letters to Santa early and to let him know what they wanted for Christmas.  That brother wrote that he wanted Santa to help the kids at school to stop bulling his sister.  He didn't want any gifts for himself, just her.  He also wanted Santa to arrange for his sister's favorite boy band to sing at "her" birthday party.  The mom had to sneak a peak to see what her children wanted for Christmas.  She was brought to tears reading her son's letter.  She had no idea that things had gotten that bad.  Because of the that letter she was able to intervene and get her daughter some help at school.  The letter also went viral on the Internet and you guessed the band came and played a special concert just for her.  Love cares more for others than for self!

The second story was about Robin Roberts.  Today was her "1 year birthday".  She had a bone transplant 1 year ago today. She talked about all the kindness and love she felt from all who followed her story.  The kindness and love from others played a huge role in her recovery.  She also shared this thought:  Don't say one day, but say today is day one. That can be meant for just about anything we(I) procrastinate about.  Love never gives up!

The third story was about the Author, George Saunders commencement speech to college graduates.  He talked to them about his biggest regret.  He was in middle school and a new girl came in one day.  She was small and shy.  She wore blue cat eye glasses and when she was nervous she chewed on a strand of her hair.  She was often ignored and sometimes teased.  Now, George himself didn't tease her but watched on as others did.  He stated that he could still remember the look on her face after such an incident. " Eyes cast down, a little gut-kicked, as if, having just been reminded of her place in things she was trying, as much as possible, to disappear."  Sometime he would see her alone in her yard, as if she was afraid to leave.  Then one day they moved.  "That was it.  No tragedy, no big final hazing"  "One day she was there, the next day she wasn't."  "Now why do I regret that?  Why forty-two years later am I still thinking about it?  Relative to most of the other kids, I was actually pretty nice to her.  I never said an unkind word to her.  In fact, I sometimes mildly defended her.  But it still bothers me.  So here is something I know to be true, although a little corny, and I don't quite know what to do with it:  What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness."   "Those moments when another human being was there in front of me, suffering, and I responded sensibly.  Reserved.  Mildly."  "Or to look at it from the other end of the telescope:  Who, in your life do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth?"  "Those who were kind to you, I bet." Love is kind!

After hearing these stories, God whispered in my ear, "Love is patient, love is kind."  I have been struggling with this lately.  That verse has actually come to mind a lot lately.  I think I have pushed it aside as if to say, God, I know, I know!" I think we can all think of people who have come in and out of our lives, that maybe it hasn't been easy to love and be kind to.  They may constantly complain about everything under the sun.  How about that person with a negative attitude and they think they know everything.  They are not easy to love either.  There is also the person who continues to make bad choices in their lives.  It's hard not to say, "didn't you learn that was a bad choice the first time?"   Being loving and kind isn't always easy.  God then told me I needed to write this down.  Maybe as a reminder to myself.  As you can tell, I am not a writer.  There are probably more grammatical errors than I realize!  Maybe someone else needs to hear this too.  Then he brought to my mind. I Corinthians chapter 13. The "Love is " passage.  This time I chose to read it from The Message translation and God truly made it clear.

   The Way of Love

1If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

2If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Love doesn’t strut,

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Isn’t always “me first,”

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

11When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

12We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

I have flown off the handle more times than I care to share lately.  I haven't looked for the best in people.  I haven't trusted God the way I should.  I have wanted to give up on people and totally forget about them.  It is hard to be kind when other are unkind to you.  It is hard to love others when it seems they don't love you. I can remember reading some where that you shouldn't pray for patience because God is going to give you "opportunities" to "practice" patience.  Maybe people are put into our path so we can practice loving.  Maybe we can't see things clearly.  But we are promised that it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun will shine bright.  We"ll see it all then,  see it as clearly as God sees us, knowing him just as he knows us!  But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation:  Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love EXTRAVAGANTLY.  And the best of the three is love!

Lord, thank you for loving me even when I don't act as I should.  Thank you for not giving up on me.  Thank you for the gentle reminders that no one is perfect and I need to love them no matter how they act.  Help me to be patient and to love EXTRAVAGANTLY!
Amen

Wow, It's been awhile!!!

My first day of school!

I really can't believe it's been 4 months since I last blogged!  Life gets busy and I have found that there is not much free time.  I can't believe how much has happened in the last four months!  I have a new job (after working at PAMPA for almost 20 years, it was time for a change), we said good bye to James sweet grandparents who "went home" within 6 weeks of each other, Abby started high school and has decided not to play basketball anymore, I got a new car, and I'm sure I will remember more later!  It has been a great summer and I anticipated the start of school because I am now a school nurse!!  I love it!!  I didn't realize how in much of a need for change I really needed!  The hours are great and I get to be home with my kids when they get home from school.  I get all of the holiday breaks and SUMMERS OFF!!  I think I'm most excited that I don't have to work on Saturday's anymore!!  The school I'm at is brand new and I got to set my clinic up the way I wanted to.  I love all the staff and the children are precious(most of them :))!

We said good bye to Grandma Dotty and Grandpa Ham.  Grandma Dotty in the middle of June.  It was so sad to see Grandpa Ham without her.  They were the kind of couple that I hope James and I will be when we are in our 90's.  They held hands and still were very much in love with each other.  Grandma developed dementia in her later months.  She would talk about her and grandpa going on a plane

 ride and leaving us.  She told us we would see her again one day!  Two of her children passed before she did.  Although it was sad when she passed I knew she was holding her children in heaven!  I could imagine her smiling and having lots to say.  Grandma Dotty always had a lot to talk about.  My sweet Noah got up and spoke at her funeral.  It wasn't planned and he did great!  They had a time in the funeral reserved for anyone who wanted to get up and speak.  James got up said a few words and Noah wanted to go up with him.   I have to admit I was a little nervous about what he was going to say.  I kept praying,please don't let him talk about Harry Potter.  He was brave and I don't know that I've ever been more proud of him!!  It was like I wanted to get up and say "that's my son"!  We said good-bye to grandpa about 6 weeks later.  I have to say, I was so happy for him!  It just wasn't right him being her without "His Love".  Of course we were sad that he wasn't with us but knew that they were together!  My sweet Noah had a really hard time saying good-bye  he was very emotional.  Grandpa Ham was a very strong rock in our family.  Although, he didn't speak his mind often you knew that he loved his family!

We got a new van!!!!  Our old white had defiantly seen it's better day's!  Now I don't have to worry about getting around!

I really can't believe Abby is in high school!  When did this happen?  I am not old enough to have a high schooler!  I still remember her first day of kindergarten.  Her cute little pig tails and her Hello Kitty backpack.  What a beautiful young lady she is.  She has made some decisions, one of them being she has decided not to play basketball anymore.  Although, it was a little sad, I want her to do what makes her happy!  Sports become VERY competitive the older you get and it's just not fun anymore!  I'm proud of her whatever she decides to do!

I am also proud of my 5th and 3rd graders too!!!

So, that's the "Hicks" Happenings"  for the last 4 months!

Take off practice....

It is my job as a parent to prepare my children to one day take flight and leave the nest.  I have really been tested lately and in all honesty I haven't done a very good job.  It is really hard to let my children experience life without me being there to put my wing around them and protect them.  It is very hard to see them disappointed or upset even if  it is the result of something they have done.  We can teach our children to not walk out on the icy pond but sometimes they just have to test the ice to see if they can really do it.  No matter how many times we say it's dangerous they just have to see how far they can walk.  Of course my children haven't been walking on ice here in sunny Georgia, but they have tested the waters lately.  I realize that they have to experience things and learn from their mistakes, but it's really hard to watch them stumble and  want to go help them up.  Did I make bad choices at times in my life? Yes!  Did I fail a class in school once? Yes!  Did I lie to my parents ever?  Yes!    Did I have a friend be mean to me and was I mean back to them?  Yes! Am I still alive?  Yes!  Did I turn out to be a good person?  I'd like to think so!


My new favorite word is consequence!  I have decided that I will warn my children of the consequences  related to whatever pond they feel they have to walk out on.  I will not continue to nag them but let them experience what will happen if they choose to take a few steps out on to the pond. (of course I wouldn't let them drown!)  You don't feel like you need to do your chores?  OK, you don't get your allowance.  You don't want to do your homework?  I don't have to pass math class, you do! No bargaining or negotiating I will not back down.  This may seem like a no brainer and I feel silly as I'm writing this, but again it's hard to not give allowance when you know your child is saving up for something special.

Am I writing this in regards to all of my children?  Yes and No.  Let me just say that being a teenager is way harder than when I was one.  Maybe I just don't remember because it was so horrible that I blocked it out!
As she heads off to high school in August she will be faced with a much bigger pond!  If I can teach her to take baby steps now and realize what is going on around her maybe she will think twice before just running out to the middle.  If she can look around and see where the weak spots are, hopefully she will go a different way.   It may not be the easiest but it will be the better way for her. Will I always be at the edge of the pond waiting if she needs to come back?  Absolutely!  As my mom reminds me ,"You will always be their mom no matter how old they are.  You will always worry and want to protect them."

I know that she is not ready for take off yet, but is my job as a parent to let her practice and find out the best way to fly for her.  Will she fall or stumble sometimes?  Yes!  Will she live?  Yes!  Will I live?  Yes!

I don't know what God has planned for any of my children, but I know that he will take care of them when I can't.  I can't think of any other I would want to watch out for them!

Jeremiah 29:11 says.....I have it all planned out-plans to take care of you, not to abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.  The Message version

A year ago this month....I still wouldn't change a thing!!

A year ago this month we found out that our sweet Noah has Asperger Syndrome.  I think back to this time 

last year and remember feeling a "spectrum" of emotions.  This has been an awesome year and we have learned so much!  Noah is still Noah and I still wouldn't change a thing!   We started talking to Noah about Aspergers and Autism several months ago.  He had a lot of questions and we walked him through it.  We talked about how his brain just processes information a little different than other people.  It might also be hard for others to understand things about him.  He was anxious to get on the computer and "research" Aspergers.  He found a huge list of people who are believed to have an Autism Spectrum Disorder.  "Mom, did you now that Albert Einstein had Aspergers?"  We found a lot of others.  Mozart, Henry Ford,  Bill Gates, Ben Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, Charles Dickens, and the list goes on.  "Look at all the wonderful things these people have contributed to this world, I told Noah!"   Noah asked, "Mom what do think I will do"?  I said "anything you want baby"!  Autism is a difference not a disability!  Noah knows more about airplanes than I will EVER know.  He amazes us everyday with all kinds of information.  Medical topics have made it to the top of his interests lately.  Maybe he will be a doctor!  He is absolutely AMAZING!  Noah asks from time to time if he can tell people he has Aspergers and I tell him it's totally his choice. He believes that Aspergers is a wonderful thing, and it is!  If he can help others understand and be aware, acceptance can happen.  All I've ever wanted for Noah was acceptance!  If you think about it so much comes from acceptance: love, friendships,ability to teach and learn, kindness and everything else that makes us who we are.  Aspergers is a part of who Noah is.  I feel so special that God thought I could handle this!  Yes, it can be overwhelming at times.  Trying to make difficult decisions for your child can be painstaking!  We all do it though, whether we have a special needs child or not.  I know that with the wonderful support we have Noah will do great things.  I can't wait to see what amazing things he will continue to do!!

Something Special!!!

Abby has enjoyed playing basketball for Woodstock Middle School these past two years.  It has been a great experience for her and all of the girls.  She has had a great Coach who she really looks up to!  You can tell that he loves what he does and truly cares about all of them!  

They have not won a lot of their games and were in 6th place(out of 9) at the end of their regular season games.

They went into the county tournament in 6th place.  I know I said that previously but I was in total awe over the next few games!  Their first game was against Mill Creek(3rd or 4th place team).  They had beat them once before and Mill Creek had won one against them as well.  The Lady Wolves won this time!!  It was absolutely amazing and we were so happy for our girls!!

The next game they played was against Dean Rusk(2nd place team)  We were a little nervous as we had never won against them and truly we thought this would be their last game.  They played their hearts out!   We WON!!!  The hairs on my arms were sticking up and I have never experienced anything like it before(during a basketball game)! The excitement was overwhelming!  I don't think I slept at all that night knowing the championship game was the next night!

The next night we played Creekland (the 1st place team)!  We had never won against them.  We came so close in a regular season game.  We went into overtime and they ended up winning by 2 points.  We all believed in the girls and knew that it would be a close game!

Abby shared a story with us at the end of the game that her coach had told them in the locker room before the game!  He had a vision at the beginning of the season that the girls were in the championship game playing against Creekland.  They were wearing purple uniforms and Jessica tipped off they ball!  (he got the girls new purple uniforms this year!

He told them that he believed in them and regardless of the outcome of the game they were champions already.  He had taught them all year to believe in themselves and never give up.  He told them that they were part of something special and not many people get to be a part of something like this!

He told them that they had changed his life and he hoped that he had impacted their lives.

Abby and Ashlee were chosen to be captain's for the game! 

Jessica tipped the ball and the game began. 

They played so hard and fought till the end.  They didn't win.  They lost by 10 points.  It was a hard loss and there were many tears shed (including the parents).  I'm so proud of our girls!!  Coming from 6 th place to 2nd is a huge accomplishment!  The girls should be so proud of themselves!

Abby cried for awhile and my heart was broken for her.  I realized that this was her last game with Coach McKinney and most of the tears were because a chapter had ended in her life! She agreed that this was why she was crying!  Growing up is hard!  Moving on and changing are things that never end.  I cried with her!  

I'm so glad that Abby got to be part of "Something Special!!

The last thirty something birthday!!

This is the last year James will be in his thirties (and me too for that matter)!  I have to say I don't feel like I'm one year away from being 40!  We had family over and celebrated James and Sara's birthday!  Sara is 47!  Now that is old!!  Love you Sara!

I can enjoy being younger than James until March 24th!  Believe me I will enjoy it!!

More Snow!!!

We have had more snow this year than we have had in I can remember!  The kids got to go back to school for a  week after Christmas and then got another week off because of snow.  Needless to say they were happy!!  I have to admit it was pretty fun!  I had just had knee surgery so I didn't venture out to play!  James and kids had fun!

It was fun while it lasted!!