Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Welcome to Holland By Emily Perl Kingsley
I have read this many times. It's one of my favorite analogies.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip-to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?!" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would have never met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around....and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandt's.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy.. and they're bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never,ever,ever,ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very lovely things...about Holland.
What a journey this has been and continues to be. Because of Noah we have met so many wonderful people. Everybody has played a significant role in our lives. His speech therapists, occupational therapists, teachers and the list goes on. Holland is truly a magnificent place!! Thank you Lord for reminding me of all the beauty in our lives. When days aren't so easy I will close my eyes and thank you for the tulips!!
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I LOVE this! :)
ReplyDeleteMeredith sent me your blog and I'm SO thankful that she did...you are a beautiful writer...and I just LOVE keeping up with people this way. It was good to see you last week...we are coming in tomorrow for a well child check...maybe I'll see you again! Have a great day!
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